Welcoming everything home

The EIFS playing field is where you/Self (aka Being, Presence, Peace, Love, Happiness) know, meet and heal your parts.

The Playing Field consists of moving amongst these three EIFS views:


1. RESTING AS SELF: Here, we become more intimate with the different qualities of Self as they appear within our unique systems—qualities such as connectedness, unconditional acceptance, peace, love and happiness. As we practice knowing our Self qualities, we develop ever more subtle, somatic discernment between the nature of Self and our parts. Through this, our systems learn and update to effortlessly rest as Self.


2. WELCOMING PARTS HOME: Once we’re established in Self, we effortlessly welcome all arisings using one of two methods. In the first method, you will discover your unique Self metaphor. For example, you might know Self as the clear blue sky, a warm womb, vast, empty space, or an infinite ocean. This metaphor helps us effortlessly meet all arising parts with peace, love, acceptance—and our many other beautiful qualities—while remaining aware of the entire field of Self and parts. In the second method, there is a listening for what each part really longs for, and that longing is directly met and fulfilled by Self qualities that are always intrinsically here. Through either method, effortless healing, unburdening and returning home to Self occurs.


3. REALIZING ALL PARTS ARE OF SELF: Here we glimpse that all parts are ultimately of Self. In contrast to the first view (where our attention is solely on being Self), or the second view (where we see the entire field of Self as background and parts as foreground), in this third view, our attention and intimacy is solely with the arising parts. Through this intimacy, we glimpse that Self is the very essence of parts. This is often accompanied by somatic experiences of joy, oneness, love or bliss.

Tipping Points are central to the EIFS process. The Tipping Points represent the system’s learning or progressive updating while healing, diminishing suffering and shifting in Self Leadership. As I’ve tracked my system, and that of others, these Tipping Points represent some of the common aha moments of healing, unburdening, and identifying as Self. As always, it is not about this list, but rather about what are your Tipping Points? Please share any of your suggested additions.

Eight Primary EIFS Tipping Point

1: You and your parts are never alone: Recognizing that at least one Self quality is ever-present even when you are blended and during the most difficult times.

2: You are aware of multiple parts simultaneously: Shifting from awareness of one part to awareness of two or more parts simultaneously (planetarium perspective or awareness of both your thumbs) from where blending becomes difficult and consequently suffering instantly decreases by 50-90%.

3: Parts welcomed home by ever-present background Self: Recognizing how your parts experience Self and finding your Parts-to-Self Metaphor such as Planets arising in Galaxy of Self, Soaking in Infinite hot tub of Self or as Waves of the Ocean of Self where your metaphor includes the loving, healing, unburdening and welcoming home effortlessly occurring in the background.

4: Abiding in or as Self: Recognizing with ever more clarity the subtle discernments and contrasting nature of Self to parts where like riding a bike the system effortlessly learns to rest in balance abiding in or as Self.

5: Hearing the longing: Hearing or listening for in every part’s expression what the part is really wanting or longing for and focusing primarily on that underlying longing and its fulfillment.

6: Fulfillment is here now: Realizing that everything parts are ultimately longings for can be found in your intrinsic nature of Self.

7: Inseparable: Recognizing that parts are not entirely separate from Self.

8: Innocence, Beauty and Perfection: Recognizing the innocence, beauty and perfection of everything and everyone (including all of you) and appreciating the opportunity to heal and welcome home that which from time to time still obscures this reality (or replace innocence, beauty and perfection with the three descriptives words that for you most describe the reality of Self and which have no opposites).

This section expands on EIFS discernments and exploration including: awareness of multiple parts simultaneously, parts finding attachment and fulfillment from you/Self, listening for what parts really want, healing polarities, somatically knowing the nature of Self vs parts for the system to learn to effortlessly return to Self, and to what does “I” refer. Each of the bullets below will soon be further expanded upon. I hope they are helpful as an initial list.

 General EIFS Discernments

• Shifting from seeing a single part (Target Part) to the Multiple Parts Perspective: This shift in perspective is from you/Self as particle or hybrid to you/Self as wave and is the core distinction of EIFS.  
• Clarity listens for the parts’ underlying longings:  Rather than meeting or responding to parts’ stories and wants, something internally updates to listen for what the parts really long for and the pull of that longing evokes from Self the longed for Self quality.  
• Parts and the system gradually realize that you/Self is fulfillment and that you/Self is the parts primary source of attachment:  After seeking fulfillment incessantly from experiences, relationships and substances, parts and the system slowly update to knowing and finding attachment and fulfillment primarily from your ever-present Self qualities.  
• Three additional unburdening “Views”:  1) Abiding in or as you/Self, 2) Parts coming home through either one’s Self metaphor welcoming parts home or the system listening for and fulfilling the parts’ underlying longing, and 3) Finding you/Self in the essence of all parts.  
• Shifting from Doing to Being:  Abiding as you/Self as wave, parts are effortlessly met and welcomed.  When parts blend, rather than asking parts to step back, there is a shift in perspective through zooming out.  
• Healing Polarities (aka parts stuck in yes/no, should/shouldn’t, want/don’t want): When both poles are viewed simultaneously from a zoomed out multiple parts perspective, charged polarities often cannot maintain their charge or burden.
• Healing occurs via Background Ever-Present you/Self:  When you/Self is realized as ever-present and parts are known simultaneously through a multiple parts perspective, healing, unblending and spontaneous unburdening can happen 24/7 in the background to complement one’s active IFS work in sessions, meditations and workshops.   
• Focusing on deeply somatically knowing the discernments between you/Self and parts:  Our systems update through becoming intimate with the contrasting  nature of Self to the nature of parts.  Through this ever-more-subtle somatic discernment and knowing — analogous to riding a bike without hands as something learns to auto corrects when tilting happens — the system learns to auto correct when part blend.  As parts pull to the right, left, future, past, etc…, instead of following, there is a returning home in sync as you/Self.  
• Intimately meeting and entering parts:  Unburdening can occur through a subtle intimacy and love of parts where spontaneous unburdening occurs.
• Shifting Identification: As you/Self becomes more pronounced and intimately known, the sense of identification or “I” gradually shifts more and more from parts in foreground to you/Self, supporting our journeys into Self-Leadership and Self-Realization.  

What qualities of your nature, your being, your Self are most familiar in your system?  Our interest is in becoming more familiar and intimate with each of our particular flavors of Self qualities. The IFS Institute’s offers the 8 C’s (e.g., calm, connectedness, compassion).  Below are some additional qualities that are frequently found in group participants:

Welcoming, Ok, Unconditional, Love, Nurture, Home, Celebration, Sanctuary, Unity, Spaciousness, Tenderness, Warmth, Safety, Here, Now, Infinite, Patience, Unconditional, Acceptance, Satisfaction, Fulfillment, Warmth, Peace, Happiness, Play, Beauty, Devotion, Flow, Is, Silence, Care, Joy, Meaning, Innocence, Relaxation, Stillness, Transparency, Absolution, Unconditional, Appreciation, Awe, Fascination, Adoration, Knowing, Intimacy, Belonging, Harmony, Health, Coherence, Resourced, Intimacy, Nature, Bliss, Perfection

For a more subtle look at Self qualities:  Some of us experience Self qualities organically opening and blossoming into ever-more subtle qualities.  For example, some begin by describing the qualities of Self with words such as  “calm”, “care” and “peace” that later blossom into descriptives such as “perfection”, “bliss” and “innocence”.   Below are a few examples tracking Self qualities, blossoming from left to right.  This is just one interpretation of knowing ever-more-subtle qualities of Self.  How does your Self vocabulary open, expand and becomes ever-more subtle?

• Peace — Warmth — Patience — Ok-ness — Oneness
• Openness — Welcoming — Okness — Sanctuary — Home
• Calm— Relief — Stillness — Silence
• Welcoming — Appreciation  — Adoraration  —Absolution
• Care — Tenderness — Nurture — Love — Bliss
• Ease — Play — Flow — Is-ness
• Peace —Joy — Happiness —  Unity
• Appreciation — Love — Innocence — Beauty — Perfection
• Satisfaction — Fullfillment —  Peace — Now
• Connectedness — Belonging — Intimacy — Here